So I think it's time I did an update. After coming out to my mom I called a few of my cousins and told them. Then I went out on my first date. It was terrible. I wasn't into the guy the moment I laid eyes on him. I could just tell. We had a good conversation. I told him how I was newly out and how I was still a virgin and how I just wanted to be friends. Then he suggested that maybe he would be a good first time. It was bad.
A couple weeks later I ripped the band-aid off and came out on Facebook. It was a great. I did it the night before my birthday and my entire birthday was spent getting comments and messages from people supporting me.
Then started a series of disappointments. All my girlfriends cancelled on going to the gay bar with me to celebrate my birthday. Then there was this guy. He was 19. We clicked and I had a huge crush on him. He said age didn't matter. He asked me out and we planned a date. He backed out. We planned again. He backed out. It got to be kinda annoying.
Then I went out with a guy. He asked me to do something. I said yes then he withdrew the request. Then I tried to set up a few hook ups. Each time a cancellation. Then I tried to set up a date with a guy. Cancelled. At the same time the 19 year old cancelled two more dates and kept two, said he now had a problem with the age difference and we decided it was a friendship (although he's gone back to cancelling our hanging out).
I have a couple more guys lined up, but I'm obviously not optimistic at this point.
I did have sex. I went home with this great guy. He was really nice to me. It was a great night. I don't think anyone can say their first time was perfect, but this was. We hooked up once after that and may hook up again, but sex is all it is. He's a bit of a whore to tell the truth.
So yeah that's it in a nutshell. I'm both happy and upset. I really want this dating or even the sex thing to work out, but it just isn't. Let's face it I'm not THAT attractive. I think I'm cute, but in reality I'm not hot.
We'll see. I think a few of this guys may be worth dating, and maybe one will be something more.
