Today has just been kind of a downer day. I don't know why. I just can't feel happy, but I'm not really sad either. I'm just kind of "meh." I should be a little happy because I did end up loosing at weigh in, but no.
I'm beginning to feel a little anxious about my appointment with the therapist next week. I've never done anything like this before, and I question what it's going to be like. What should I say? Will I even be able to say anything? Should I tell anyone that I'm seeing a therapist? I especially wonder because I know I haven't been me at work and I'm getting a little paranoid that I'll end up pissing someone off and then find myself without a job.
I just have this feeling that my lead is laying the ground work to get me out the door even though I'm sure that's not the case part of me just feels that way.
It's the same way with my friends. I just don't feel like I trust them. Every side conversation they have with each other concerns me. I hate feeling this way. A big part of my brain knows I'm overreacting, but there's this little voice in my head that keeps telling me, "but what if you're not."
I just wish I could be happy and confident in myself again like I was a year ago.
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